Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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