jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
