i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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