Me. At least after what I've been through.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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