just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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