areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
