I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
