Whats the glycemic index on semen?
high people should be assigned attendants
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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