In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
