Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
