I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
