i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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