Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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