we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
