i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My penis needs a shock collar
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
