planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
