You smell like a Billy Joel song
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
