There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
