Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sext me about skeletons
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
