i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
