11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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