Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
