My cat gives me a boner
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
