If that was your dad, he is hot
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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