Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.