So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
