She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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