Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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