I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
