just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
