is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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