shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
