Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
