theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize