sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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