no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
