In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
