I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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