i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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