I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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