im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
