She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
