UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
