I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
