There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
