I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
That accounts for only three of the penises
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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