found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
