Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
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It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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