I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize