Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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