He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
