Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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