I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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