he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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