So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
