I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
