He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize