How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
