I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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