so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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