5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm both gender and math confused
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
